Over my head

    There are some moments in your life that happen, just to humble you. Things that happen just to remind you that you are human and made up of flaws and mistakes.

     Like when you call your teacher mom in school or a boy finds out you like him, or you flash your underpants to the majority of your school and their families.

     What's that? That last one seems pretty specific? Well let's talk about that shall we?

    It was the fall of my fifth grade year in school, we had only been back for less than a month but my classmates and I were, in our minds, invincible.

    For years we had put our time in as the underclassmen. We have looked at the fifth graders of years past as the mature adults that we assumed they were, but now, it was our turn.

     I, myself felt superior in many ways. I was a big kid. Nearly six foot tall at this point, I saw the fear in the eyes of these younger children and while I would never hurt anyone, I'd be lying if I didn't say it felt good.

     Not only was I one of the tallest kids (I had a close run with a boy named Kyle in the fourth grade) but I was also now one of the oldest. I had it good. I might as well be eating lunch in the teachers’ lounge.

    So the school decided to throw a fall fest, complete with hayride and carnival games and this was quite a big deal for our school.

    In the area, that I grew up we were pretty secluded. There was a bar, an auto shop, and the school and that was it. So those of us who were lucky enough to live by the school played on the playground and every so often we would ride our bikes to the bar and bang on the kitchen door until someone would answer so we could buy candy bars and pop without going in.

    So a fall fest, gave all of us something to do and we could hardly contain our excitement.

     My sisters and I went and we all split up with our friends going to each teacher to play whatever carnival games they provided, we got our faces painted, and watched as others bobbed for apples. Over all, it was a good day until the hay ride.

     Up until that day I loved hay rides, being from Indiana, there is a great joy found in sitting on top of bales of hay in a trailer pulled by a tractor.

     Again, I have to emphasize this fall fest was a really big deal. Every time that tractor went around the school it was filled with not only children but bored adults who had nothing else to do. I watched as many people fought to get on and off that trailer as my friends and I approached it.

     I tried to convince them that I would just wait for them at the drop off but they insisted, so I quickly climbed on so not to be stampeded, and sat cramped as we circled around the school property.     

     If I were writing a review I don't feel that this hayride would receive high marks. It was okay and all but we circled around the school that's it. I know, I set my expectations to high, but come on get the tractor out on the highway, let's put some miles on this puppy!

     At the end everyone exited quickly as the new trip rushed to get on board. I tried to get to the back to exit off but before I could the trailer was loaded with more people so I helplessly shrugged towards my friends. Apparently I was going on another trip.

    I was not any more impressed with the hayride, the second time around and had little desire to be stuck on this trailer for the rest of the day so as I passed the highlight of the trip my classroom window I planned my escape.  

     As everyone else rushed to the back and fought the next swarm of hay-riders, I rushed towards the trailer hitch where I would step off.

    I placed my foot on the hitch but my other foot didn't quite make it. The next few seconds in time went past me in slow motion as I fell towards the ground hitting my head on the trailer hitch and my dress... went over my head.

     The wise mature reputation I believed I had earned flew away right with my dress which was over my head.

    I began to cry, sure my head hurt but, I have to say it again. My dress. Over. My. Head.

     How many people saw? I'm sure most people on the trailer preparing for their riveting ride around the school and those who have just enjoyed said trip.

    Those playing games nearby, the hay ride was the main attraction so my display was on main display.

    I didn't want to just change schools, I wanted to move to Albuquerque, and change my name or something. Maybe I could become the crazy mole person who flashed everyone then burrowed under the school's playground. Yes, the second one! I'd become a legend, the children would leave their left overs at lunch and I would take them when they weren't looking and leave unique rocks or interesting trash in return. Why couldn't I think of this all those years ago, retrospect you know?

     Anyway, as I sat against the swing set my teacher was at my side with her children. My poor teacher just trying to enjoy the fall fest with her family and one of her students performed a failing somersault that she must attend to.

    Adults were asking me questions. Are you ok? Do you know your name?

Why did they need to know my name? Did they forget? I was sure my name was around the entire school yard at this point. 

     It was all overwhelming. So many faces in my face. My teacher’s daughter had general concern on her face. "Her tears are washing off her face paint." 

     Great another big concern for my day, not only were my 'day of the week' undergarments displayed for the majority of my social group, but now my face paint was washing off.

    Somehow I recovered. I assume I was just oblivious and pretended not to hear the hushed gossip with my name involved. 

     It's amazing how these things can become a thing of the past. I was sure that I could never recover from that, and even now it's not a highlight of my past. 

     I did recover however, now if only I can remember this as I've gotten older.     

     Embarrassment, anger, and sadness all awful emotions associated with those memories that sear themselves in your brain.

     We make it our past. It's possible, and if only we can hold our hopes up high above our heads as we trudge through those awful moments, we soon will have just fuzzy memories that we recovered from. 

    So my fifth grade life ending embarrassment is a part of my past that I made it through but I did live and learn I mostly avoid hayrides and never with a dress on. 

-Amber