Up until this point, there have only been 2 adults living in the house. Two young adults who would learn from the results formed by you, case study number 001, just how to cohabitate with a small child.
They would learn that, all though they were mobile and able to get from point A to point B, case studies at a young age would not be able to follow and would need to be assisted by the young researchers. My parental researchers realized this after they locked me in the back seat of a car with the keys a few days after I was born.
They would learn that all though the responsibility was great, it was okay to allow the case study, once mobile and has some years in the research lab, to go out with other case studies in recreation. I was to be in the house when the street light came on as a child and I had a curfew that was strictly enforced. By the time case study number 003 came around they were so tired they had no idea where she was half the time.
As time would go on and they took on more case studies, it would become easier but that first one... Case study number 001 would have to go through some issues both mentally and physically. No example is better equipped for this blog than the first and only time I was drunk.
Now in my family, on both sides, there are a lot of home remedies and beliefs.
One summer I went to my grandmother's house, and I got a cold so she gave me home made cold medicine and told me to go right to bed because I would get sleepy. I barely made it to the bed before I passed out for several hours. I don't know all that was in that medicine but one of the main ingredients was not made for a preteen's consumption.
So when I was a teething baby my parents were at a loss on how to help me. So they went to the researchers that had more experience on case studies than they did their parents.
My grandmother advised my father to give me some bourbon, and knowing that she had raised 5 children on her own he asked no questions.
So, at six months old, my father gave me a shot of bourbon to sooth the pain of my protruding teeth. Only to find out later that he was to rub some bourbon on my gums.
What happens to a drunken baby? Are they fun to be around? I mean, I assume that this isn't the norm for most families.
As in most instances in my life, I didn't find out about this until I was at least 18 years old. Here I had gone my whole life thinking I had never had a drink (aside from relatives convincing me to try a sip at a young age and the special cold medicine from grandma) much less been drunk. I come from a very Christian family, it hadn’t once occurred to me to ask my parents if they got me plastered before I could walk.
So after celebrating with Dad I was told I passed out.
Now came the time for my parents to put their research into action. My protectors, my guardians, looked at their poor drunk baby and decided that the best possible outcome was to have me "just sleep it off".
So I did... for 16 hours! Waking up with what I assume was a major baby hang over.
So was my life as case study number 001, trial and error. There may have been some physiological damage, but over all I'm relatively normal. Payback has come with all the times I have told this story. Love you Parental Researchers!
-Amber


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